Better Butter Battle - By Machine

This could be a stick of butter. But not yet.

It just takes shaking and agitation. And shaking. And shaking. And shaking. And shaking....And shaking. And shaking. Supposedly for 15 minutes. Or not. I shook some more. And more. Aaaand...a little more. More. And, more.

Here is minute 22.

Straight cream. First it becomes frothy.

Then the whipping forms stiff peaks. Perfect for pie. But you know how you always were warned not to over-whip or there would be dire dessert consequences?

Next, it scrambles.
Then gets chunky.
Then gritty. And just after this, you start to hear a slap-slap-slap-slap and milk starts splashing all over the place.

And it's BUTTER.

Just like that.

You can add some salt now, if you like, or honey.

Pour off the milk if you'd like to save it and drink it. But if you want to be a genius about it, pour it off before mixing in the salt or honey. That's what I remembered today.

Salted milk: Uh, No.

But there still is a lot of milk left in. Buttermilk. No, really. And if you don't wash it out, your butter will go rancid in a couple of days. Cloudy water: not a good sign. Keep rinsing.

Squeeze the milk out. Using the hands seemed easier than a spatula. Keep going until the water runs clear.

And there's your stick of butter. That, about 12 minutes ago, was 2 cups of cream. Really average organic cream from the grocery store, that cost $3.49.

Average cream does not produce outstanding butter. But tell that to Starboy.

Average cream does produce very creamy and fun homemade butter, that you can keep soft in a butter bell, or wrap in a log with waxed paper and freeze for later.

One cup of cream makes about one stick of butter, give or take. Homemade butter.

If you have access to a cow or a proper dairy, your results may vary. And that might be a good thing.